SEASONS GREETINGS

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

My Life Thus Far

This was passed on by Kris...

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
0 6. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said "I love you" and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby's diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had/Have amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your cds
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the snake river
82. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
83. Gotten flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in a Rocky Horror Picture Show
96. Raised children (well, currently working on that)
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Passed out cold
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone's heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a TV game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school (not full time, though)
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach (unfortunately)
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read "The Iliad"
135. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone whodidn't know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone's life

63 out of 150...not bad.

(Ok, the cow thing was at Maplewood Farm in North Vancouver and it was after a demo, they let you come up and try it a couple times so I didn't exactly fill up a whole bucket.)

Loud & Proud

Last night, I braved the local mall and took my kids to see Santa. I went right after work - didn't even go home to put on comfy jeans or grab a bite to eat. It actually wasn't bad when we got there. I guess most people go home to put on comfy jeans and grab a bite to eat before they hit the mall.

So we wait in line about 30-45 minutes, they chat with the big guy, get a picture, grab their candy canes and we hit the food court for some crappy mall food (for the kids - I opted out. Just smelling Evan's hot dog made me lose my appetite). Then I dropped them off at their dad's (it was his night) and finally got to go home and put on my pajamas.

I flop on the couch, flick on the TV to veg out for a bit and relax when Adam comes upstairs, big smile on his face. When I got home he had been on the computer and I could hear him clicking away so I knew he was playing poker. Apparently he won a tournament so he was all proud. But, he was even more proud of this:

He basically came home from work (early) and polished off ALL the beer in the house. For no reason - just because.

And he was so proud that he actually wrote on that little piece of paper: I DRANK THESE!

December 13th. And he signed it. Yes, he signed and dated it!

Wow - what a man. Needless to say he passed out on the chair upstairs watching Die Hard with me.

Ugh.

I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas

...and when I run out of white, I'll open a bottle of red.

CHEERS

I am (almost) 30 years old and I still can not figure out what is so great about New Year's Eve. It always seems like such a big deal to celebrate a new year, but you wake up the next morning (sometimes with a wee bit of a headache) and the world is exactly the same. It's just another 1st day of the month. Big freakin' deal.

Don't get me wrong - I've been to some pretty fun New Year's parties in the past. The best was the big one - year 2000 - when I went with a big group of friends from work. We had a fabulous dinner at the revolving restaurant overlooking Coal Harbour in downtown Vancouver (of course it rained, so the view wasn't as spectacular as it could've been), then on to the Hyatt for 4 different ballrooms of drinking and dancing and then a piano bar on the rooftop suite. It was great. But I really have no desire to pay $100+ every year to do the same. I just don't care enough.

To be honest, what I look forward to more is December 30, for a certain someone's birthday. Perhaps it's because we usually don't go to sleep until 5am December 31, having had a little too much wine...I don't know.

So my plans for the big 'Eve this year? Dinner and maybe a movie with the kids. And the kicker? Last year, us adults had a fondue night, so this year it'll be chocolate fondue with the kids. Maybe I'll even add a little sparkling applejuice to be traditional. Rock on. Anyone care to join?

33 Shopping Days...

Yes, I realize it's less than that 'til Christmas. That's actually the countdown to ~gulp~ my BIG 3-0. It sucks. I'm soooo not looking forward to this one. I really REALLY am not ready to say goodbye to my 20's. I mean, I can't even keep a job at one place for more than a year...

That's right - I've changed jobs. Again. I'm back to commuting downtown, working in an office all day, in a cubicle (ick!). No more coming and going as I please. No more fabulous lunches, wining and dining. No more golf tournaments! Well, I guess the odd one, but not like how it was at the last place where I got paid to schmooze. But, now I go home to my family every night at 4:30 (except for when I have class - which I need to continue doing, unfortunately), leaving the work on my desk where it will be the next day.

On the bright side, my new job, although I'm very busy, I am WAY less stressed. Other than the studying I had to do last week for my final, I have felt great. And the commute? Well, I'm back on the train, so I just sit there and either gaze out the window, read or chat with P if we catch it together. It's great! So relaxing. And one thing I've noticed is that I haven't put gas in my car for 12 days. That's a new record - I usually filled up once every five or six, depending on how many claims I went out on that week.

What does all this mean? Really, what's in it for you? Perhaps something or someone I observe during my commute (oh god, this one woman's hair!). Or perhaps more embarrassing stories (certain things can only happen to me). Or, perhaps, I'll just have all this spare time, to sit, and think...you'll have to wait and see.

Not only that, but I believe I have a one year anniversary coming up.

Winter Weather...in Autumn

This is great - a friend of mine emailed this to me and it made me laugh out loud:

Weather Warning

Chilled Vancouver commuters faced their second day of winter hell today, as an additional ¼ centimeter of the peculiar white stuff fell, bringing the lower mainland to its knees and causing millions of dollars worth of damage to the marijuana crops. Scientists suspect that the substance is some form of frozen water particles and experts from Saskatchewan are being flown in. With temperatures dipping to the almost but not quite near zero mark,Vancouverites were warned to double insulate their lattes before venturing out.
Vancouver police recommended that people stay inside except for emergencies, such as running out of espresso or biscotti to see them through Vancouver's most terrible storm to date.
The local Canadian Tire reported that they had completely sold out of fur-lined sandals and snow tires. Drivers were cautioned to put their convertible tops up (so I did), and several have been shocked to learn that their SUV's actually have four wheel drive, although most have no idea how to use it.
Weary commuters faced soggy sushi, and the threat of frozen breast implants. Dr. John Blatherwick, of the Coastal Health Authority reassured everyone that most breast implants were perfectly safe to 25 below.
"The government has to do something," snarled an angry Trevor Warburton. "I didn't pay $540,000 for my one bedroom condo so I could sit around and be treated like someone from Toronto."

Ain't that the truth...

Overdue

I forgot that I had wanted to post pictures of the kids' in their Hallowe'en costumes.

A little late, but they'll be happy I posted it. (Sorry I didn't get Claudia in her's - while I was trying to snap pictures pre-trick-or-treating and during their little party, she was getting her makeup done and I missed her).

Captain Jack Sparrow:

...and Curious George:

28.5 Shopping Days

With all the Christmas blogging going on, I was trying to think of any Christmas traditions that I have. Other than the usual baking and decorating. The only one I could come up with is the way I like to wrap my gifts.

First, I pick a time when I'm all alone. It works well for me that my children go to their father's every second weekend. Also, Adam works Saturday's and Claudia doesn't get here until Saturday night. Or, an even better time (since these free Saturday's are mostly spent running errands alone), in the evening after the kiddies are in bed.

Second, I pour myself a drink. Traditionally, to keep with the Christmas spirit, it's rum & eggnogg.

Third, to get even more in the mood, I throw on some Christmas music. Seriously. I love it.

Then, I flop myself on the floor, surrounded by bags of gifts (usually pre-sorted by child, so as not to get too mixed up), my big rubbermaid container of wrap, ribbons, tape, bows and tags, etc., my drink and usually my curious furry friends and get to work. I'll sit there for over an hour sometimes, depending on how many gifts I have to wrap, or how many drinks I have. And I'll do this about 3 times throughout the month of December, as I run out of hiding spots for my gifts and realize it's just safer to have them wrapped and hidden from snooping children.

Aaahh, the joy of the holidays...

32 Days...

Thanks Kris...I've been absent for too long!

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Egg Nogg - it's the only time I drink rum!

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just set them under the tree? Depends on the size....bikes can't get wrapped

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? Coloured on both.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? No

5. When do you put up your decorations? I usually start the first week of December, although I'll put out WINTER decorations (some candles and stuff that aren't necessarily Christmas-themed but are Winter, and I'll keep them out until February)

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? We don't really make a special dish.....but I do love stuffing!

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child: The time my mom ran out to buy extra bulbs for the lights on the house to replace the odd few that had burnt out. She didn't notice that she had bought blinkers (it was a new concept back then) and my dad went up and replaced the burnt out ones and couldn't figure out why these one's weren't working either. We were getting all frustrated watching, then suddenly they'd blink on and off again. But they were all in random spots on the house - it just looked so funny! We laughed our asses off.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I don't remember - I think I was in denial for a long time though.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? It depends - last year, we didn't have the kids on Christmas Eve, so Adam and I opened our gifts to each other. This year though, we'll wait.

10. What kind of decorations are on your Christmas Tree? Mostly breakable and expensive stuff that I buy AFTER Christmas every year when it's all 75% off. I'm sure my cats will have fun breaking my shit.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Love it. But its rare that we get it on Christmas.

12. Can you ice skate? nope

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? I dunno....last year I got an awesome push-up bra.

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Having the family together, definitely.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Italian Christmas cake (I can't spell it); gingerbread cookies

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? When we were kids, my brothers and I used to go downstairs and sit around the tree and just talk and look at all the lights and decorations.

17. What tops your tree? A star, I think

18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? I love watching people open the gifts I give them

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? Sleigh ride

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yummy? yummy

Deck The Halls

Crap, I haven't blogged in so long that I almost forgot how to sign in...

Thanksgiving has now come and gone - now it's time to get inundated with Christmas advertisements, music, decorations....the list goes on.

Oh, don't get me wrong - I love Christmas as much as anyone. I love to decorate, wrap gifts, send my cards, bake, watch all the great movies. I love it all! But sometimes, things seem to get way too out of hand and it bothers me.

I had a conversation with my parents tonight about it. I told them that Adam and I had discussed not buying each other anything this year, other than the piddly little stuff that we put in the other's stocking. We've discussed this, but not actually agreed on it yet, but the more I think about it, the more I like that idea. Are we just getting old?

Last night at dinner, Evan and Olivia were discussing what they are going to ask Santa for when they go visit him. At one point, as he's trying to narrow down his choices, Evan turns to me and asks "Do I ask Santa for just one thing, or can I give him a list?".

I told him that when he writes his letter to Santa, it's standard to write down three things, but when you go see him in person, ask for the one thing you want most.

He seemed satisfied with that answer.

Olivia just stared at me - I could almost see the wheels turning in her head as she silently scanned through her mental list. Then she nodded and said "Ok, Littlest Pet Shop it is".

You gotta love a kid that knows what she wants.

The Latest from the Rumour Mill

Oops, She's Divorced Again...

http://music.msn.com/music/article.aspx?news=240825&GT1=7702

Ok, I know it's lame, but now where is K-Fed going to get his paycheques? The guy's got 3 kids. And, second-most-important: did she have him sign a pre-nup?

I dunno...maybe she just has the baby blues...

Happy Halloween!

Have a great night....

A Hallowe'en Tradition

Ok, I actually wrote this post last Monday, but was having trouble getting my photos on the blog. It's a little late...my apologies.

Yesterday, I took the kids to the Pumpkin Patch.

There was the weird...

...the wacky...

...ah, good times!

Although...

In my little state of "Bah, Hallowe'en", I did manage to help the kids out with a little Haunted Gingerbread House.

And, aside from Munson having to be told numerous times to quit eating the candies (notice the missing jelly beans on the roof?), we did have fun. As well, much to Evan's delight, there was TONS of yummy orange icing leftover to lick...(and have strange looking orange-stained fingers for the remainder of the day).

Eat, Drink and Be Scary

(Taken from a sign I saw on a diner window in New Westminster)

Hallowe'en is coming...and I'm so not in the mood. I don't know what's wrong with me - I usually ~LOVE~ Hallowe'en. I decorate. I dress up. I go nuts. This year, I took out all my candles and indoor decorations but have yet to put out my lights and gravestones and light-up bones and my new sign that reads "MORGUE".
What is up with me?
First off, it's Dum-Dum's turn to take the kids out, so I won't even see them that night. Secondly, I am on call that whole week and I have a feeling I'll be hearing the pager go off on Hallowe'en. Third, I haven't received any party invites so no reason to get a costume for myself.
I just feel so ho-hum about it this year; it's weird.
Is anyone else feeling this?

Lame Excuse for The Week

Here's my lame-ass excuse for not having blogged in a while: our computer had a virus (eek!).
Yep, she done gone and got herself a bad one.
It's clean now - we've exorcised the demons.
Now I must re-enter all my contacts back into my address book and re-save all my favourites. What a pain in the arse!
I'll be back...

Who Is This Kid?

Munson's bringing sexy back...I have no idea what is with the pose, but I thought I'd share this.
My batteries had died on my camera and I didn't change them for over two weeks. I went to take a couple pictures last night and was shocked to see this picture on my camera. I really don't remember her doing this!

To make up for the un-Munson-like picture above, here is something a little more of the norm for her:

And yes, that is a pumpkin toque.

my bad

I keep trying to work on a post titled "A Day in the Life of Munson". It's not working out for me.
See, the thing is, I'm one of those awful working moms who leaves her children at daycare every Monday to Friday. Go ahead: say it. I've heard it all before. I choose to have children and then I pay someone else to raise them.
To a degree, yes, this is true. But in my defence, how else am I supposed to live? I need money. Then how do I make money? I work. I don't have a husband to do that for me. I don't wish to rely on Income Assistance (the fancy way of saying "welfare"). So, I'm a bad person who pays someone to watch my kids while I cart my ass to an office every day to work.
In all honesty, my kids are better off. They spend their days with a woman who has two kids, now in their 20's, who appear to have been brought up very well. She feeds them good, homemade food, which I would most likely not do as much as she does. She takes them to the park on any day that it's not raining; sometimes even when it is raining. They get exercise and fresh air pretty much every day. She does crafts with them - on a regular basis. I hate doing crafts; always did, always will. She bakes with them - I don't have the patience to do more than crack an egg, add water & oil and put it in the oven. She's makes stuff from scratch! She teaches, she helps with homework, she nurtures and loves them as if they were her own. I think they're much better off with her than they would be with me!
What's worse about all this, is my childrens' daycare is unlicensed. The shock! The horror! Yes, they go to a very qualified caregiver who doesn't want to deal with all the red-tape bullshit that comes with trying to get licensed. Because she is unlicensed, she is allowed to cuddle and hug and kiss any child that has fallen and scraped a knee or bumped his head. She's allowed to take a child's temperature and administer medication at her discretion (a little privelage I gave her after the third time she phoned me at work to ask if she's allowed to give my suffering child a couple of Tylenol). She's allowed to banish Olivia to a room for misbehaving and flick Evan in the ears for not listening. Regardless, my children love her like they would a favourite Auntie (I don't dare say grandma - she's too young and she'd probably cuff me up the side of the head for that). And we feel very lucky to have such a wonderful person in our lives.
So the whole point of this post was to explain my struggles with the post I am attempting to compose and that I've now decided to recruit my daughter's caregiver to make notes for me so I can complete it.
I know a lot of readers are running out of patience (sorry Julie!) but please bear with me. I had a rough week. Actually, month.

Hold My Calls

I know I haven't been around and I apologize.
To be honest, I'm having a dry spell.
I am also currently attempting to finish a novel I purchased in July and had to wait until I was done with all my studying and the other novel that I was already into.
My new class starts on Monday (tomorrow - eek!) and I'm barely half-way through this book but I have to finish it before I am forced to read a lame textbook all about Liability.
And football started so I'm on my own avec les enfants as Adam is preoccupied.
I am, however, excited about my very first NFL game next Sunday. I will be going with the Falcon's #1 Fan, her man the Cardinals fan and my live-in KC fan. I don't care that out of my group I'll be the only one cheering on the Seahawks - I'll have an entire stadium backing me up. I plan on drinking like a rowdy College freshman and perhaps (depending on how the game goes) acting like one too.
Please be patient with me - more to come.

I KNOW You're All Jealous

Poetry via text messaging.

Here is a little message I received the other day, in a response to my message about eating lunch alone:

"And even though I know how very far apart we are...It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star!".

I believe I responded "Gag me with a spoon".

And then, of course, it got a little out of hand after that with the gagging comment...as I'm sure you can imagine.

Have a great long weekend!

The Nuggets

I was going to post something but I just got home from work and have started dinner and better get upstairs to make sure I don't ruin it.
I'll leave you with a picture of my kids and my neices and nephews.

And, as you can see - like most 3 year olds, my daughter has discovered...um...er...well, you can see.

Ms. Smith Goes to Court

The latest excerpt of "Kelly's an Idiot":

I went to the New Westminster Law Courts at the beginning of August to fight a parking ticket I received back in March. You see, back in March when I got this frickin' ticket, I was so mad about it that I was all "I'm gonna fight this - there's no way I'm paying it! It's not the money, it's the principal". Right.

So half a year later, I finally get my day in court - and do ya think I've got the balls to do this? I've never EVER gotten a traffic ticket before. I've only been in one accident, and it wasn't my fault. And I'm the type that would normally just tuck my tail between my legs and pull out the chequebook. But this time, I wasn't going to. No way - this was not my fault.

So I leave work at about 9:30 to be there by 10:00. I had to allow myself some time because I knew (from being in Family Court there recently) that the Pickton trial was going on and I'd have to wait and get my bag searched an all that fun stuff. I took all the stuff out of my bag that I knew would get taken away (my camera, my phone with the camera, my dictation - no recording devices! - and my multi-tool which could be used as a weapon but I only have it in my purse for the corkscrew) and shove it under the driver's seat. I arrive with about 7 minutes to wait outside the courtroom. There are cops walking around everywhere - other people are fighting traffic violations and stuff - and they're talking with the people they gave the tickets to so they can agree on something before they go in. My guy isn't there. I'm thinking - great, he didn't show up, my argument and pictures are a waste, but the ticket will be withdrawn so that's fine. One of the younger cops smiles and says hi to me. I try not to look nervous. Then they announce that court is about to begin and we can go in.

We file in, one at a time, and I have to state my name to the judge as I enter and then there are two long benches to sit on. I sit at the front, trying to look all ballsy, holding my head high, in my dress pants and sweater and my brand new leather bag that my dad had just bought me for work. I'm the only woman in there, aside from the Judge.

A couple people go up, do their thing - then it's the 3rd guy, and I see him. The guy that gave me the ticket. I know it's him. I guess I should give you the circumstances now: I was in training for my job, and we went out on a claim. I parked my vehicle in the same spot that my co-worker had parked just a couple days before. While we're at the claim, I went outside (I had stepped on a nail and went out to the light to see if it actually went into my foot). And there was a bylaws guy about to give a parking ticket to the lady that owned the building we were in. So I ran out there and stopped in and said that she'd move her car - I was all sweet and apologetic so he said that was fine, as long as the car was moved right away. Then, half an hour later I go to my car and lo and behold I have a ticket. I just knew it was the same guy that I stopped from giving that other lady a ticket. So I was mad. So that's how I knew what the guy looked like.

When he was done with the other parking ticket, he turns to me and says "Kelly?" I nod and he asks me to step out to the hallway and talk with him. I jump up - I'm nervous as hell - and follow him outside. We talk, we laugh (because I told him the story and he even remembered me) and he says he can reduce my ticket to $20. I said fine and we go back in. ~whew~ Relief. Until I sit down...

Now lets sidebar again - a little while ago, I got this little tin of mints at a work function. I had the tin in my purse. It's a cheap tin - the one day I finally decided to open it and have a mint, I can't get it open so I have to pry it. After that, the lid didn't fit on it anymore and it basically came apart and dumped all these little white mints in my purse. They look like little pills.

Well, in my nervous angst to jump up and go out into the hall with the bylaw guy, I guess a few of these "pills" flew out of my purse and landed on the deep red carpet in the courtroom. Remember I was sitting at the front? Everyone could see these little white "pills" on the RED floor.

When I came back in, the old guy that was sitting next to me points to them. So I bend down and frantically try to pick them up and put them back in my purse. And then he says "Is this your crack-cocaine?" and starts laughing.

I told him no that they were mints and did he want one.

He says "No, I don't do drugs".

Then he says "Your crystal meth?".

Embarrassed laughter followed.

I wanted to die.

When I was done with my moment with the judge, I couldn't have gotten out of there fast enough. My face was probably the colour of the carpet.

Staples Says It Best

I know it's still summer, but if you're like me, the greatest time of the year is fast approaching. No, not the back-to-school stuff - are you kidding? I'm a working mom. The summer doesn't change anything for people like me. Either way, the kids are still up early and carted off to daycare. The only difference is that I don't have to conjur up new lunch ideas at 6:00 in the morning. Believe me, that's no fun. I have picky eaters - one who will only eat peanut butter sandwiches, and one who won't eat them at all.
And no, Adam and/or Rigby, I'm not talking about the NFL season. Although the upcoming trip to Seattle and my very first NFL game is exciting for me.
It's Autumn itself. The whole season. I love it. The smell, the colours, the crisp, cool air...all of it. And its no secret that I love clothes and shopping (ask Adam - he'll tell you) and the Fall just has all the best of everything.
Every year, basically since Evan was born, my Mom and I take a little day trip down to Bellingham, Washington and do some shopping. We usually go absolutely nuts in Target. They have the BEST Hallowe'en decorations and costumes and accessories. I love decorating my house, but there isn't much in decorations after Christmas other than the few Valentine's Day window stick-ups (still on my front window) and maybe some Easter candles (that I just realized are still on the shelf above the TV). So by the time October 1st hits, I'm dying to start dragging out my decorations. And then, of course, buying some new ones always makes me more into it.
My other tradition is taking the kids to The Pumpkin Patch in Fort Langley. (It was a mention of the Fort by Bex that got me on the subject). We go to Aldor Acres - a farm owned by the Anderson family - and it's an absolutely beautiful place. For any of you that went to the PNE this year and saw Peter the Great (the biggest cow ever), well Aldor is his home. We always start out going through the barn and seeing the baby pigs, usually a few calves, the horse, donkeys and my kids' favourites: the baby bunnies. You actually get to hold them and pet them, and they're just so adorable it's hard to tear the kids away. They also have some very eerie items in there. The only one I remember right now is the calf that was born stillborn and with two heads. It's in a big jar and is pretty freaky looking.
There's the honey stand where the kids learn about bees and how honey is made and you can purchase all different types of honey.
There's a petting zoo with goats, sheep, ducks, chickens and even turkeys wandering around. And don't worry if you leave the gate open and there's an escapee - there are always a couple of border collies keeping a close eye on things and they usually help you in getting the animals back in.
And of course, the best part - there's the big hayride to the fields to pick out your pumpkins. We always do that part last, because then they stop at the parking lot on the way back from the field and drop you off so you don't have to lug your pumpkin around forever.
The people that run it - the Andersons - and all the people that work there are great with all the kids and very informative. The property is huge - the pumpkin fields seem to go on forever! And if you're lucky to get a nice sunny day (the last 3 times we've gone we've been very lucky) and you can get some really great pictures of the fields and the hills behind the Anderson property.
Like I said, the kids look forward to it every year, but so do I. And you don't have to have kids to enjoy going to this place - they even have a little market to pick up apples and peppers or you can just enjoy some corn on the cob and a cool, crisp Autumn stroll around the property.

Great Big Ball of Fun

Since Carly-Ann did this wonderful feature of my blog in her's, I decided I should post something today. Only I really have nothing interesting going on right now to post. I just ate lunch. At my desk. Again. Because it's so freaking busy. My message to all the People out there: Stop flooding your houses. Please. So I can go back to "lunching" with people for 2 hours and ending my days at 3:00.
No one is coming into my office right now because I ate my favourite sandwich: egg salad with little chopped up onion. Mmm. Adam calls them fart sandwiches for obvious reasons. Even when I'm mixing the egg in the kitchen at home, he'll come in and say "Did you fart in here? Why didn't you warn me?". Then he sees what I'm making and says "Ohhh...fart sandwiches. Ok".
Back to my day at work - the most interesting thing that has happened to me today is that they placed Thriller on the radio this morning so I cranked up the volume and danced for about 20 seconds. A co-worker walked by and commented "Every time I come in here, you're listening to 80's music". That was it. Nothing on my funky moves. Hmph.
As for my home life, the most interesting thing happening there is that I just spent a weekend with no kids and Adam and I did nothing all weekend. We went for a hour-and-a-half long bike ride on Friday night, we both worked on Saturday and Sunday we stayed in and watched golf during the day, a movie and some NFL at night (Seahawks won...but it's only pre-season).
We have a houseguest for a week - Adam's friend's dog, Molly. She's an older golden lab, really sweet, loves to play catch and is deathly afraid of cats. It's hilarious. My cats are so curious so they follow her around and end up cornering her in different areas of the house because she's too afraid to go past them. It's quite sad. Oh, and she's deaf. So when you're outside with her you basically have to jump up and down waving to get her attention. It's a little difficult but she's such a great dog and follows us around so much that we don't really need to call her over. And if you point, she's knows where to go. She's been with us for one night and I already don't want to give her back. If I wasn't at work right now, I'd take a picture of her for the post but you guys'll just have to wait.
I know...it's nothing too interesting. It does get better, really. Gotta run - my message light is blinking on my phone and it keeps catching my eye and distracting me. I guess I should do some work so I can leave in 3 hours. Unless I think up some excuse to leave early for something work-related. I'll let you know what I come up with!

No Munson Tonight - It's Just Me

I took this one from Ms. L but I love these things and this one had some questions I'd never seen. Read on...

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops? Nope
2. What color are your eyes? Brown
3. When was the last time you went sledding? We haven't had much snow the last two years - it was probably 2 1/2 years ago
4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone? Hmmm...good question. I'm not a cuddler and I like a cold room but sometimes it gets too cold...
5. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes I do.
6. Do you consider yourself creative? Not one creative gene in my body.
7. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie? Jennifer is cute, but Angelina is sexy. If you're asking if I had to go bisexual who would I choose, well Angelina of course.
8. Who was your first crush? Jesse Bouma
9. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you? Naw - there's always someone that knows something
10. Have you ever been ice skating? Yes, but long time ago. Not sure if I could do it now.
11. How often do you remember your dreams? I have such a terrible memory. When I was pregnant I'd have super vivid dreams that I always remembered. Now that happens once in a while.
12. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? For those of you who have heard me laugh, I tend to let it out quite often and it always makes me cry. I don't remember the last time I laughed that hard but probably recently and it was probably something Adam said or did. Or Olivia.
13. Can you name 4 songs by The Beatles? Yeah
14. What's the one thing always on your mind? Lately, the time. My job is doing that to me. You always have to write down the time when you talk to someone or they left a message. It's driving me insane because I don't wear a watch and haven't in years.
15. What talent do you wish you had? I wish I could play a musical instrument, namely the piano. Never learned.
16. Do you know anyone in jail? No. Not that I know of.
17. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew? Yes
18. Have you ever been punched in the face? By a baby, numerous times. Brent Hagyard punched me in the neck in Elementary School.
19. Do you own any stuffed animals? A couple that were my Grandma's but even those are in my kids rooms. Oh, and there's a spider beanie baby on the computer speaker. It used to sit on my computer at my old job.
20. Do you have a major crush on someone? Oh, now I just remembered my secret! (kidding)
21. Do you miss someone right now? I miss both my grandmother's a lot and lately I've really been missing Kaine. I think because the anniversary is coming up. Adam and I have been talking about him a lot lately too so I think we're both feeling it. It hurts.
22. What are you listening to right now? Just the hum of the computer.
23. Has the death of a celebrity ever made you cry? Not necessarily the death, but every year I watch the Oscars and they always have the "In Memoriam" part on the actors/directors that have passed that year. That almost always makes me cry.
24. What color underwear/boxers are you wearing? I don't remember. I think they're pink striped.
25. Where do you work? In my office in Burnaby.
26. What ended your last relationship? Cocaine. Not mine.
27. What food do you crave right now? None at this moment. Lately I've been big on dark green salads with vinaigrette and strawberries.
28. What was the last TV show you watched? I think that last entire show I watched was Last Comic Standing last week.
29. What is the last thing you ate? Poppycock. Haha, I said cock.
30. Are you on any medication? Read #29 - I probably should be. There's my secret. I stopped taking my meds and didn't tell anyone. My bad. (No Adam, it's OK. I'm still taking my birth control)
31. What side of the bed do you sleep on? The side that doesn't have Adam's body laying on it. I'm not picky.
32. What color shirt are you wearing? My brown hoodie. I was cold earlier.
33. What is your favorite frozen treat? Frozen Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Seriously. Good. Shit.
34. How many tattoos/piercing do you have? 3 tattoos, ears pierced and navel (yes, still)
35. Can you imagine yourself ever getting married? I can imagine. I can also imagine myself driving a Lotus. And if I had to choose...well...vroom vroom.
36. Have you ever done something to instigate trouble? Of course. I'm the baby of the family. How else was I able to get attention?
37. Do you like your nose? I don't like it. Seriously. It's big. And it looks even bigger when I'm tanned.
38. What color is your bedroom? brun
39. Where do you live? Coquitlam, British Columbia, Canada
40. Are you an aggressive driver? Sometimes. I've calmed down quite a bit because now I don't have dum-dum to make me late for things. Besides, I'd rather be 5 minutes late and ALIVE.
41. What color is your car? Maroon-ish
42. What do you smell like right now? My perfume. Actually, it's a body spray. White Musk from Body Shop. My body has really bad chemistry with most perfumes and I've discovered that I can only wear musky stuff. Which most other people hate the smell of.
43. What is your favorite color? Green
44. What character from a movie/TV most reminds you of yourself? Roseanne. Ok, no. I honestly don't know. Tough one.
45. Do you enjoy giving hugs? Most of the time, yes.
46. Do you own a digital camera? Yes
47. What books, if any, have made you cry? I can't think of one right now. I know I've cried from reading but I just can't think of what right now.
48. Are you a jealous person? Nope
49. 69? What's the question? I don't get it. But if you're asking, well OK.
50. What shoes are you wearing right now? None. Don't wear shoes in the house. I'm barefoot and procrastinating painting my toenails.
51. What is your major weakness? Babies.
52. Do you suffer motion sickness? Yes, though I haven't lately. Again, I'm not with Dum-Dum anymore. His driving is horrible, he always made me sick. I can't usually read in the car although I've been able to read maps. I'm sure if I went to Tofino again I'd get sick - that road is terrible!
53. What's the best pizza? Me & Ed's Gangster - it's all capicolli and pepperoni and salami (sliced nice and thin) and their sauce is the best. Oh, and I looove thin crust. Mmmmm.....
54. Longest relationship? 8 years. That was 7 too many.
55. Are you afraid of thunderstorms? No, but I do get goosebumps.
56. What do you want to be when you grow up? A ballerina. Honestly, if you're answering some sort of 69 question, why is this one in here?
57. Have you ever given or been given an engagement ring? The same guy (you guess it: Dum-Dum) gave me 2. And we never did get married.
58. What was the last gift someone gave you? Cory gave me a pot with Gerbera Daisies - they're one of my favourites. That was on Saturday. Before that, my mom had given me a pedicure for Mother's Day and Adam gave me an awesome new clock radio. It plays nature noises!
59. Who would you call first if you won the lottery? Probably my mom.
60. Can you cook? Yes.
61. What is your favorite jelly/jam? I like my mom's blueberry jam. And blackberry. Basically, any of my mom's jams.
62. Can you swim? yes
63. What is your first memory? I remember how my Grandpa (Smith) smelled - I'd sit on his lap for hours while he chatted with my parents. My dad smelled almost the same but now he doesn't smoke anymore so he smells better. I remember bits and pieces of our trips to my Aunt & Uncle's at Tatla Lake. Like I said, I have a horrible memory but I remember certain smells and those will always stay with me. Weird, I know.
64. What item would you like to have buried with you? Morbid thought. Obviously nothing of much value since I want my kids to hock all my jewellery. I've honestly never really thought of being buried - I sort of assumed I'd be cremated. I know it's bad but the thought of my dead body rotting in a wooden box that my loved one's had to cough up thousands of dollars for just doesn't make sense to me. Throw a big party instead and send my ashes to space.
65. What are three things you're dying to have right now that would make everything just about perfect? Nothing I'm really dying for - Adam and I live it up pretty good. I could stand to lose a couple inches off my waist. How about just a vacation, somewhere hot and all-inclusive where I get waited on hand and foot and the only decision to be made is where we're going to eat tonight.

The Beginning

Last night we had some people over and there was some discussion somewhere that I sort of caught bits and pieces of - you know how it is when there's 4 different conversations going on around you. I totally can't recall it right now, or even who it was, but it was something to do with a first date, or where a couple had met. I think someone even asked me where Adam and I met.
For those of you who don't know, it was on-line. It was on Lavalife.com, to be exact. But our first date (not a real date, but our first time meeting in person) was at Crash Crawlys. With all the kids, of course. AND (how sappy is this?) I still have the pre-meeting email.

From: "Adam Read"
To: <cheetahbc@msn.com
Subject: Hi
Date: Mon, 3 Jan 2005 10:14:29

Hi Kelly,
Are you off work today? Claudia and i were thinking of going to Crash Crawly's today........Maybe you are in?

Adam

So I took a chance (yes, I was off work - it was the Monday following New Year's Day) and, much to Evan's delight (Olivia was too little to get excited about the place yet) replied that I would be there.
We had only started chatting on-line 2 days prior but I figured with an eight-year-old daughter and in such a public place, what have I got to lose? It was actually a lot easier and more comfortable than sitting face-to-face in a restaurant or Starbucks.
I think it was about two weeks later that I took Adam to my cousin's wedding and he met about 50% of my relatives. And about 6 months later we were moving in together. I love everything about this guy - he's handsome, fun, hilarious, sensitive, hard-working, a great cook (and yes, he does most of the cooking in our house) and a quirky enough to sometimes make me feel just a tad bit less crazy.
So yes, you can meet the right person on-line. It's definitely not for everyone, but it was fun for me (I met some really cool people, some complete assholes and some real freaks, not always in person but funny enough just on the website). And no, nothing really worthwhile to blog about....just Adam.

Bumps in the Night

I was going to post about my camping trip while it's still somewhat fresh in my mind. I'm typing this, still not 100% sure if that's my intention. It's the weekend and I'm on call for emergency claims. My mind is soooo not on my blog, so bear with me - I'm winging it.

Adam's parents flew in on Saturday, July 15. We had spent the two days prior running around, getting things ready for our trip (ie: our vehicles), not so much for our house at it was pretty much a disaster. That entire day is still a blur to me. It basically consisted of getting things ready, dropping off cats at their "hotel" and buying groceries.

Sunday, we all woke up early, showered, dressed, scarfed down breakfast (except Adam and I, as we were the chickens with the cut-off heads). We pack, load up, get things ready and are finally off some time between 10 and11am.

The drive to Beaver Lake Resort is about 4 hours. Unless you stop a few times, as we did. (Kids = bathroom stops and food). It actually took a lot longer than I had anticipated. When we finally turned off the highway to take the road to the resort I was rapidly losing steam.

I had picked this campsite off the Tourism BC website - it was recommended and since it had it's own website, I was able to check it out and it looked pretty good. Last year we went to Cultus Lake, which is local, so this year I wanted to actually go somewhere. The Okanagan was somewhere that it was far enough away that Adam and his parents would be going somewhere that they most likely hadn't been, but not too far.

So we're driving up this road to the campsite. On the website, it says that it's about 10kms up the road. It doesn't mention that it's a rather rough, dirt road for about half the way. Now this is where I should mention that Adam's father isn't well - last December they discovered that he has cirrhosis of the liver. On top of that, he also has a pretty serious hernia. And a bumpy road does not help either of these two things.

Adam and his father were in Adam's truck. In my vehicle were the three kids, Adam's mom and their weiner dog, WD. About halfway up this terrible road, Olivia tells me she has to pee. She's 3. She does not squat well. It just doesn't happen. She needs a toilet. I tell her we're almost there and ask if she can hold it. She says yes. We're about 2 kms away from the resort and she starts crying. Yep, she's had an accident. But the drama doesn't end there. Adam's mom then, getting a little nervous and worried, suddenly tells me that there's no way his dad can be on this bumpy road. So I say OK, and try calling Adam. No service. We turn around and drive a bit down the road and get service and call. The response? "What are you talking about? This road is fine!". Apparently, the shocks in my truck suck compared to his. So, we carry on.

We finally arrive and get our vehicles into the campsite and discover that Adam's truck has had some serious clutch problems the whole way. We find out where there's a transmission place in Kelowna, the nearest city about 20 minutes away, and make arrangements to take his truck in. For now, we just need to settle in.

I'm shot - with all the drama and me driving that many people (I had expected at least one of the kids to be in his truck for the whole way), I can't keep up any more of the positive energy. There's only so much one person is able to hold up when there's negativity all around. Thank God Adam is the type who can deal. He basically took over from here on in. I went to bed almost right after the kids.

The next day, we deal with Adam's truck, get it dropped off, pick up more groceries (fresh Okanaga fruit!) and, of course, the long-awaited, much-deserved alcoholic beverages. Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh.....

The day is spent exploring the resort - there's a coffee shop that also sells pastry and sandwiches (at Starbuck's prices), about a dozen little motor boats you can rent (at reasonable prices), a huge playground and even a petting zoo (a few goats, bunnies, two ponies). Great stuff for the kids.

In the Okanagan, it doesn't rain nearly as much as it does here on the Coast. You can also expect it to be a few degrees hotter here in the summer and much more dry. Up where we were, in the mountains, it was actually a bit cooler. We still got the sunshine, but at the site we were at, we were surrounded by trees and it didn't warm up a whole lot during the day. Which was actually good - it meant more comfortable sleeping. (If any of you have ever tented in the summer, you know how stifling it can get).

That evening, the kids are in bed, Adam's mom decided to go to bed early, Dad is sitting by the fire reading his book, so Adam and I decided to go for a stroll. We walk down to the water, onto the wharf and just stare at the lake, taking it all in. It's a beautiful place - the perfect place to have a cozy little cabin. It's getting dark - I mean, really dark - so we decide to walk back. I think we had a flashlight, but I'm not sure.

We're walking up the little hill to our site and in front of the site next to us is the garbage. In BC, pretty much anywhere, you need to have proper garbages to keep the bears out. But apparently it was a busy day and the garbage was full, so some people, instead of finding another can, just put their garbage bags next to the cans. We're yapping away, in full conversation, when we suddenly hear a noise in the garbage. Its dark, hard to see - all we can see is a big, black figure. Adam's gives a "What the...?" and I suddenly burst out laughing. We're about 3 feet away from a big, black......

"It's a frickin' COW!" I suddenly blurt out. I don't know why I laughed so hard, I guess it's just funny that you would normally expect a bear and instead you get ol' Bessie visiting your campsite.

She wanders through some sites, takes a big piss in the one just up from us, scares a few more people and, with a Safeway bag in her mouth the whole time, finally wanders off. I tried snapping a few pictures, but in the dark taking pictures of a black cow just doesn't seem to work.

That's about as eventful as it gets. We spend the rest of the week taking the kids out on the boat, riding bikes, visiting the bunnies and goats, attempting fishing, eating like kings (we bought the greatest camping grill!), playing cards, feeding squirrels, making s'mores and relaxing on the lakeshore. And, I just need to add (because it IS all about me) that I had almost NO allergies while I was there. Except for when I visited the goats and bunnies. It was a great time, from what I've heard Adam's parents had a great time and fully enjoyed the kids (and vice versa).

Although, as much fun as we had, it is a lot of work and it's kind of nice to come home too.

Now Adam and I need a vacation.

*And I just want to add, if you go on the Beaver Lake Resort website and turn up the volume, that IS what you hear when you're there. I've never heard live Loons before and it's just amazing.

Guilty As Charged

Re: This post about lazy bloggers like me. I am guilty, I'll be the first to admit it. But, it was a life or death situation! Well, more like a job situation - if I didn't pass this final licensing exam, I would've been out of work. In this entire industry, most likely, as word travels fast. It's like living in a small town where everyone knows everyone else and if they don't, they know about them.
Anyways, got the news today and I still have a job. I finally passed the exam (86% Baby!) and am now a licensed adjustor in BC. ERGO, I shall now be enjoying the remainder of the summer with my reading list and perhaps a little exercise and, finally, some posts. No more school, textbooks, exams...until September.
More to come - since I'm actually at work right now sneaking in this post, I better run and get some work done.

Randoms...

I know, I'm sorry I haven't done my Beaver Lake post yet. Bear with me. It's been a very busy and stressful week but it should start getting back to normal now.

• I wrote my final licensing exam today. If I don't pass this one, it's the end of the road for me. Just in case, let me know if you see any good job postings around.
• My ex is currently moving into a house within a few blocks of where I live. Good or bad? We'll see...
• I'm so tired right now that I actually forgot the 3 or 4 other things I wanted to say here. Shit.
• Addition to the previous story of my weird neghbourhood: the cops came by the other day and took someone away from the Redneck house two doors over. Can we all say marijuana grow-op?
• Last week was my first ever schmooze-fest in the Insurance industry - I actually had to stand at the tee-box on the 4th hole at a beautiful golf course and KISS ASS all day. It was cool but I'll never do it again. Unless they supply me booze. And a partner.

I promise y'all that I'm going to get some decent sleep and get my camping post done. This week.

Oh, and thanks to all my new visitors and especially Kris for sending them to my boring-ass blog.

The Wild Mountain Cow of BC

I'm back from camping, but still have the kids with me and we lost one in-law (mom flew home) but one is still here.
Will post something worth-while in a couple days I promise!
I'll leave you with a camping photo.

VIVA ITALIA!

And that's about all I have to say right now...

You Think You Have Weird Neighbours?

Welcome to my hood. AKA "The Ghetto".
I live on a middle-class cul-de-sac in the 'burbs consisting of the typical vinyl-siding homes built a decade ago. Your 2-storey pastel specials. Nothing spectacular.
You'd think that living on a cul-de-sac, it would be quiet, maybe full of children riding their bikes around. Not really. Every house on this street has a rented out basement suite. Which means there is a serious lack of parking. And wayyyy too many cars. Yes, my kids are allowed to ride their bikes but they have to stay on the sidewalk (I know - my bad. But it's only on this street that we have that rule). And if a car comes, they have to stop.
We even have a little park just about 7 doors up. It has two little playgrounds, kind of cute. Let me just note that by law, in park zones around here, the speed limit is 30 km/h. Besides, if you're driving into a little cul-de-sac and it's not a very long street, you'd think people would slow down. But no. Not on my street. People floor it. Not just young teenagers either. EVERYONE. It's scary.
Anyways, back on to the real subject of this story.
There's this house across the street from us. Probably the biggest house on the street. Owned by a middle-aged Asian couple. OK, now aren't Asian's famous for their beautiful Oriental gardens? Well, not these two. Their front yard consists of concrete. They've made the entire front of their yard a parking lot. And a makeshift sign sits right at the front near their front door with the words painted: No U-Turn On Property.
Now we've figured out that they must have two suites in their basement because one guy parks his big (pedophile-type) work van and then goes through the gate at the left side of the property and another guy and his little girlfriend and sometimes his son park at the other end of the parking lot and go through the fence to the right of the property.
The guy on the left seems pretty normal. Don't see him a lot. Probably mid-thirties, goes to work, plays hockey, we wave to each other, that's about it.
The guy on the right needs his own post. I'll try to shorten it and squeeze it in here though. HE'S A FREAK. Here's a typical evening with him coming home from wherever he has been:

• drives down street towards his house
• turns into driveway, full speed
• slams on brakes
• reverses, fast
• slams on brakes
• pulls forward, fast
• slams on brakes
• reverses again
• slams on brakes
• you get the point, he does this about 3 or 4 times each
• parks car, gets out
• locks car
• pulls on driver door handle, up and down, about 5 times
• pulls on rear d/s door handle, same thing
• walks around vehicle, pulls on rear passenger side door handle
• same thing, front passenger door handle
• you know the drill, walks around the car about 5 times doing this, staring into the car windows, sometimes he stops to look underneath the car
• finally stops, starts walking to his fence
• turns around, sprints (not walks or strolls but SPRINTS) back to the car, does the door handle thing one more time, looking in car, looking under car....
• FINALLY goes through the fence and inside.

He does this pretty much every night. We don't always see his car coming, sometimes we're just sitting in the living room watching TV and hear the frantic jiggling of his door handles and then we watch him. F-R-E-A-K-Y.

Now I get to my initial reason for this post. It's a beautiful, sunny, hot Saturday morning. I'm tidying up my house (OK, more like going into the kids room and throwing out some of the crap they have that just takes up space but don't tell them). I catch sight of the middle-aged Asian owner of the house across the street, washing his car. Normal thing to do, right?

But today is special. He's dressed special. For this, I needed to grab my camera and take a picture.

Yeah, that's right folks. He's wearing Daisy Dukes! How short are they?

For this, I took a close up:

I mean really: who else gets this kind of view right from their living room window?