Hard To Come By

I got myself a good bitch. Here is an excerpt from a conversation that took place yesterday evening, as we're dishing up dinner in the kitchen:

A: I am awesome. You are SO taken care of. I am the best boyfriend any girl could ever ask for.

K: And what am I?

A: You'd make an okay boyfriend.

A: And, I realize now that I can let myself go. DOUBLE UP!

His ass had better not get any bigger...

And the night before, as we're making our bed with fresh, clean sheets...

(A has made some sort of snide remark so I run around the bed to smack him)

A: You're like a 1950's husband!

K: What?!

A: Well, you come home from working all day, your dinner is on the table, the kids are playing nicely, the laundry has been done and you STILL have to beat me!

K: (Laughing) And I expect you to perform later, don't forget. Go make me a drink.