Since my team is out I can bitch about the other teams:
How come Ray & Yolanda are always breathing so heavy? I thought they were super-athletic long-distance marathon people? She's got wayyyy too much junk-in-the-trunk.
Go Fran & Barry - I LOOOOVE how mean they were to Lake & Michelle (Uh, are they not a total example of "I slept with my assistant and now she's pregnant so I have to marry the stupid twat"?)
I kind of wish that it was a non-elimination round just so we could see the Pink Double-D's claws come out at an airport or bus station and gauge out Mr. Redneck's eyes - that would've been some great entertainment! Oh well, just as good that they're gone. Horny Frat Boys have already forgotten them.
I'm going to get myself a t-shirt that says "Bowling Mom". Yep. Too funny.
Stay tuned for next week....I can't wait to see Mo's temper tantrum! She's done pretty good so far - I figured she would've spazzed out already at this point.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Sunday, March 26, 2006
A Little Slow
Some interesting facts about KELLY
- No piece of Kelly can be folded in half more than seven (7) times
- Kelly is the only planet that rotates clockwise
- Kellys melt in vinegar
- American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one Kelly from each salad served in first-class
- Kellys do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older
Ok, here are some real ones:
- I have reading glasses that I don't wear because I hate how I look in glasses (and they're old and hurt the backs of my ears)
- I was born year of the Dragon and have a tattoo on my back that is the Chinese character for "Dragon"
- I'm a college drop-out
- My mom and I share the same birthday
- For 3 days before I menstruate, I have serious cravings for salt and regardless of how bad it is, I give in
- I wish I was more motivated to exercise
- I'm ignoring my kids right now and I'd better get back upstairs to see what they're doing
Friday, March 24, 2006
Embarrassing Story #2: Kelly's Wardrobe Malfunction
I'll get straight to the point on this one - I exposed my breast in public.
To make a long story short, I met my girlfriend Tricia at the beach one hot summer day after work. We'd been trying to plan to meet for two weeks and finally were able to pull it off. We actually meet passed the road to the beach and you can take a trail to a wharf that goes across the lake (yes, lake - not ocean) and jump off that. There seems to be a lot more 20-somethings at this part of the lake.
So we meet and I have my bikini on under my shorts & t-shirt. We walk to the wharf and there's a few of her boyfriend's friends there (who are also, I should mention, all friends of both my older brothers as well). We lay out our towels and I take off my shorts and my t-shirt and then OOPS, there's a boob! In front of EVERYONE. I quickly shove the weight back into my bikini top and pretend it didn't happen. Tricia is just staring at me, wide-eyed. So we sit for a bit, in an uncomfortable silence. I slowly regain some composure and Tricia and I decide to jump in. She says to me, once we're alone in the water "Oh my God, your BOOB just popped out?" (or something along the lines of that). My answer: a nonchalant "Yeah, I guess it did. Oh well". It would be a little different if I didn't have two kids and friggin breastfeed and completely deflate afterward. Aaaargh!
From now on, I wear a one-piece.
To make a long story short, I met my girlfriend Tricia at the beach one hot summer day after work. We'd been trying to plan to meet for two weeks and finally were able to pull it off. We actually meet passed the road to the beach and you can take a trail to a wharf that goes across the lake (yes, lake - not ocean) and jump off that. There seems to be a lot more 20-somethings at this part of the lake.
So we meet and I have my bikini on under my shorts & t-shirt. We walk to the wharf and there's a few of her boyfriend's friends there (who are also, I should mention, all friends of both my older brothers as well). We lay out our towels and I take off my shorts and my t-shirt and then OOPS, there's a boob! In front of EVERYONE. I quickly shove the weight back into my bikini top and pretend it didn't happen. Tricia is just staring at me, wide-eyed. So we sit for a bit, in an uncomfortable silence. I slowly regain some composure and Tricia and I decide to jump in. She says to me, once we're alone in the water "Oh my God, your BOOB just popped out?" (or something along the lines of that). My answer: a nonchalant "Yeah, I guess it did. Oh well". It would be a little different if I didn't have two kids and friggin breastfeed and completely deflate afterward. Aaaargh!
From now on, I wear a one-piece.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Only Once
I don't even know why this came to me right now - I'm sitting in my freezing cold office, eating my tuna macaroni salad that Adam made for me, reading blogs and then I just decided to post a new one myself. And for some strange reason, this came to me. It's an embarrassing moment in my life. I don't get embarrassed easily, and to be honest I wasn't embarrassed at the time. But, it's a good story (if I can tell it right) and I feel like sharing.
It was over 8 years ago, before I had any kids. I was working downtown and taking the commuter train in every day while my boyfriend at the time took my car to work and was supposed to drop me off and pick me up. It had been a long, drizzly day and I was grateful to be getting home. I got off the train and lo and behold, the prick wasn't there (which was normal at the time because he was never a reliable guy, much the same now). So, as we had agreed every other time he was late, instead of me waiting outside in the cold and rain, I would walk the two blocks to the nearest Starbucks and wait there. At least I could sit with a coffee and read the paper. So I did. When I got there, though, I was dying to go pee. I had this fear of using the washroom on the commuter train because it rocked so much I was scared the door would slide open while you're using the facility.
Keep in mind, also, that this was about 9 years ago. I had on these pants that zipped up the back, and had these sort of suspenders attached to them. It's not as bad as you're picturing right now - they were all black dress pants and I actually was skinny enough back then to wear the suspenders under a tight sweater and you can't see the lines. Oh yeah, AND it was "that time of the month". So, I went in the bathroom, did my thing, came out and got in line to order my coffee. As I'm ordering, these two construction workers in their mid to late 30's are standing behind me. One of them suddenly taps on my shoulder "Um, miss - your zipper is open". It takes me a second to realize that it's the zipper that goes right down my back and my ass and my pants are gaping open and they're staring right at it! I just say "thanks"as chipper as I possibly can and zip it up. And he says "That's ok, we don't mind". THEN he says "and I like your tattoo".
I'm telling you - things like this can only happen to me. And ONLY ONCE. Besides, I don't think I own anything that zips in the back anymore anyways.
It was over 8 years ago, before I had any kids. I was working downtown and taking the commuter train in every day while my boyfriend at the time took my car to work and was supposed to drop me off and pick me up. It had been a long, drizzly day and I was grateful to be getting home. I got off the train and lo and behold, the prick wasn't there (which was normal at the time because he was never a reliable guy, much the same now). So, as we had agreed every other time he was late, instead of me waiting outside in the cold and rain, I would walk the two blocks to the nearest Starbucks and wait there. At least I could sit with a coffee and read the paper. So I did. When I got there, though, I was dying to go pee. I had this fear of using the washroom on the commuter train because it rocked so much I was scared the door would slide open while you're using the facility.
Keep in mind, also, that this was about 9 years ago. I had on these pants that zipped up the back, and had these sort of suspenders attached to them. It's not as bad as you're picturing right now - they were all black dress pants and I actually was skinny enough back then to wear the suspenders under a tight sweater and you can't see the lines. Oh yeah, AND it was "that time of the month". So, I went in the bathroom, did my thing, came out and got in line to order my coffee. As I'm ordering, these two construction workers in their mid to late 30's are standing behind me. One of them suddenly taps on my shoulder "Um, miss - your zipper is open". It takes me a second to realize that it's the zipper that goes right down my back and my ass and my pants are gaping open and they're staring right at it! I just say "thanks"as chipper as I possibly can and zip it up. And he says "That's ok, we don't mind". THEN he says "and I like your tattoo".
I'm telling you - things like this can only happen to me. And ONLY ONCE. Besides, I don't think I own anything that zips in the back anymore anyways.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
A Repeat, I'm Sure
I'm sure I've done this one, but my answers change EVERY time so here goes again:
Subject: How well do you know me?
Four movies I would watch over and over:
1. Walk The Line
2. Napoleon Dynamite
3. Sleepless in Seattle
4. Office Space
(I could easily go on here - there's about 20 movies that I would (and do) watch over and over)
Four places I have lived:
1. Coquitlam
2. Port Coquitlam
3. Surrey
4.
Four TV shows I love to watch:
1. Amazing Race
2. The First 48 (The REAL CSI)
3. Crime and Punishment (It's the REAL Law & Order)
4. Jeapordy!
Four places I have been on vacation:
1. Punta Cana
2. Disneyland
3. Oregon Coast
4. Tofino
Four web sites I visit daily:
1. Royal Bank
2. For work, usually Mapquest
3. other bloggers
4. msn.com (just because it's my homepage at work)
Four Favorite Foods:
1. Butter chicken with naan
2. Steak & mashed potatoes
3. The Buffalo chicken burgers Adam makes
4. cajun chicken
Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Back on the beach in Punta Cana
2. Disneyland
3. anywhere hot & sticky (my body soooo needs humidity right now!)
4. Back in bed
Four Friends that have been tagged that I think will respond:
1. Carly-Ann
2. Kristin
3. Piera
4. CLAYTON!
I've been tagged. so here it goes...delete my answers, replace with your own and send it back to me and on to other friends!
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
STRESS
Ok, I know I have been a very, VERY bad blogger lately. I have had a lot on my mind - and not a lot to publish on here. I've been working my butt off at my new job and I need to be licensed in order to continue with this job. I took an exam for my license the day after I started working here and I was told "it's not too hard, just read the material and you'll be fine". Are you frickin' nuts?? I later find out that you need 80% to pass and half the questions was material I had read...no wait, more or less skimmed through. Didn't quite memorize. Needless to say, I didn't pass and just wrote my re-write yesterday morning. Only now, the pressure is SO on. If I don't pass this one, I can't take another re-write for 6 months. And in that time, I doubt I will have this job any longer becuase I'm really no use to them until I'm licensed. So, it's do or die. And I wrote it yesterday. And now I want to die. Every time I think about it my stomach goes in knots and I want to puke.
On the upside, if I lose this job I will probably be blogging a lot then....and hanging out with the cats.
On the upside, if I lose this job I will probably be blogging a lot then....and hanging out with the cats.
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