I have worked in numerous offices for the past 11 years now and I'm noticing this funny little trend. For the most part of those past 11 years I've been in a steady relationship. And, again for most of that time, I've lived with my man. Total monogamy.
Yet, at most of the offices I have worked at, I've befriended someone of the opposite sex, that eventually becomes my Office Spouse.
It's nothing bad. Completely innocent. It usually involves a lot of advice-giving (work-related and personal), lunches, joking around, sometimes insults and the odd "eff you". But it usually makes being on the job a little more fun, especially in a static office environment.
Ah, I remember my first one....Ray. He worked in the mail room. I was only 19, it was my first office job and about 10 months after I started there was when I first moved out of my parent's to live with Dum-Dum. About 4 months after that I found out I was pregnant with Evan. We had a big laugh (later on, of course) about the morning after I found out. I walked in the mailroom, asked for some supplies and then just looked at Ray and said "Oh yeah, and I'm pregnant" and walked out. He didn't know if it was a joke or serious and he didn't want to talk about it in the of
fice so when we went for lunch that day and I started to cry, he figured it out. Then there was Martin. Martin was younger than me by a couple years (Ray was about 7 or 8 years older than me). Martin was such a typical young guy - loved his fancy cars and name-brand clothing. Thought that driving an expensive car meant everything. But he was fun to hang out with. I still talk to him once in a while and hate to say that even now, 7 years after I first met him, he hasn't changed a bit.
After Martin I had a bit of a dry spell. I had Olivia, went on maternity leave and then didn't go back to work until Dum-Dum and I split up. Then I worked a year in a hell-hole where there were maybe 6 male employees out of 100 people. And socializing was a no-no. There was only one single male that worked there that talked to me but he kind of creeped me out. (Julie, you know who I'm talking about).
Then Tony came along. He had the horrible task of training me. Hands-on. Which meant hours together in the car and months of him introducing me to all the right people. And with tons of marketing comes tons of lunches, dinners, golf tournaments, hockey games...you name it. He has made the biggest impact on my career than anyone - and done me a lot of good. He's also given me so much great advice - on work, my kids, my relationship, everything. I owe a lot to him and he will remain a great friend to me for a very long time.
And now...at this job that I've had for just barely 3 months? I've started making friends. There's the young crowd - a group of 4, 3 girls and a guy, that are in their early 20's, just starting out. They're pretty cool, and it feels strange to be the "old girl" because in the past I had always been part of that young crowd. Two of the girls in that group have actually invited me out this weekend to a club and I am considering going. And my desk is next to the one guy who is the Office Spouse to all the younger girls.
The interesting thing is, this Office Spouse or Work Spouse is way more common than I thought. I've heard of a lot of people that have a Work Spouse. Even older people that have been married for years! So how common is this? How many of you have a Work Spouse?
Not just me? Check out some articles I found about this subject: Wedded Work Bliss, Platonic Office Romance, Married On the Job
9 comments:
You know I love this topic. It's true, I think a lot of people have a Work Spouse. I know I do. I always have, just the faces and names have changed. It's fun, it makes the day go by, I wouldn't have it any other way. I love my Work Spouse!
And great reference articles! I like the last one best.
That was a great post. I love it. I haven't worked in an office since I was 23 and that was all girls. Before that I was 20 and by far the youngest person there. So no, I never was able to have an office spouse. Dan has one. It admittedly makes me jealous a bit...even though we are becoming friends too and she even watches my kids now and then.
Anyway, that was really an interesting topic. It does seem that people in offices seem to couple up
I just want to clarify for anyone that may get the wrong impression: it's an Office Spouse, not an Office Crush. I realize one of those articles mentioned something about sexual tension and by all means NO, that's not the case with me.
Yes, I think Work Spouse and Work Crush are different, very different. I will allow that there is some flirtation involved, but I think that Wikipedia definition that I found is dead on.
Glad you made that distinction Carly, mine was definitely a Work Crush! I don't know if Kelly knows about that one! And yes, I know which one you mean...and I'm so glad you didn't refer to him as a Work Spouse, you were definitely his Work Crush. Yuck!
If she doesn't know about it now, she will on Friday. We'll get it out of you, Julie!
Excellent - like the old sleepover birthdays when we'd play truth or dare!
I know exactly what you are talking about! I loved your post. But did you ever have someone who wanted it to be more? I did, I thought it was all hunky dory until he started slipping in comments about using the rooms upstairs (worked in a hotel) and that was it. I freaked out and hardly talked to him after that. But I must admit I missed the normal stage of the relationship, bitching about our boss, trading secrets about how to work with clients and just general chit chat. Too bad some people don't know where to draw the line.
You haven't posted about your birthday party yet!
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