Pure Madness

Last weekend, for some strange reason, I allowed myself to get invited to a Martini party at my friend Tricia's house. I was supposed to be studying for my mid-term. I somehow got it in my head that I'd still be able to do this(?). Fuck, whatever.
Adam had to work the next day, so we arranged that he'd drop me off at Tricia's house and then I'd cab it back later so that I could sleep in a bit and still be home for Claudia. Incoherent is fine, she's 10, she can handle it. Apparently I can't.
The evening started out slow - for a while, there was just 4 of us. The good bartender Amy made us a melon-type martini - very yummy, went down a little too quickly, don't know how that happened. We chatted, gossipped, music low in the background. Amy made us a second. A little stronger - more like your standard vodka martini. That one was more of a sipper. A couple more ladies arrived. Music started getting louder. We got into the spread in the other room - lots of yummy food (and the strawberry brie from M & M's is to DIE for!). Then we suddenly started gunning. I honestly don't know how it happened. But there was a lot of mixing involved, which probably had a lot to do with my tummy troubles the following day. By this point, the music was blaring (I heard the words "as long as we piss of the bitch next door I'll be happy" somewhere along the way as well). We started grooving. A certain nurse got provoked into calling in sick for her morning shift. 2 cabs arrive and off we go - to the Foggy Dew. Good times.
Kelly goes home some time around 3am. Barely manages to brush her teeth and somehow crawls into bed. Wakes up some time around 10am. Feels like shite. The rest is a blur, but I somehow manage to crawl back into bed around 11:30 and sleep 'til 2pm. Then get up and decide it's time to do some housework and study and feel like shite some more.
Am I bad? Yes. Still have a bit of that headache today. But was it fun? Definitely! Will it be done again? Absolutely.

You Asked

Further to Carly's comment about my inability to update this blog (shit, I hadn't even checked emails in 4 days!), here's my response.

#3) (Coles notes version)
Once upon a time, there were these two friends. Kind of like Thelma and Louise. No, more like female versions of Matt & Ben.
One of them decides that she's going to go into the office and catch up on a little work on Saturday morning. The other had just met some cool guy from Whistler and he was in town with his friends for the day and she wanted to hook up with them so she was going to catch a ride into the city with her friend and then they'd catch up together later.
So, uh, for the story let's just call the first one Kelly, heads out Saturday morning and picks up uh, oh, let's just call the second one Carly, at 9am as planned.
The two are driving down the empty highway and Carly, for some unknown reason, pulls out a mickey of Tequila from her bag and suggests a drink. She may have been half-joking, I don't know. Kelly, half-seriously, says "Hey, I have a glass!" and proceeds to dump the change out of the glass that somehow left the bar with her one evening and was just sitting in the cup holder.
By 9:30am, there's an empty bottle of tequila on the floor, Kelly's day of playing catch-up at work is completely shot and if the liquor store had been open that early in the morning, the two of them would've been completely incoherent before noon.

The End.

*This story based on actual real-life events. Names have not been changed because neither one of these girls is innocent so there's no reason to protect anyone.

#2)
Does anyone reading this know who my favourite band EVER is? (Carly, you're not allowed to answer until other's have had a chance)

#1)
Carly is fascinated that I have an assistant. She's not a PERSONAL assistant, she's just supposed to do a lot of the clerical stuff for me when I'm on the road. Either way, Carly appears quite amused by this fact. So Carly, I'm handing the podium over to you now. List 10 things that you would like to make my assistant do.

The Arctic Zone

This is my office. At least it feels that way. And when the weather is nice and hot and sunny outside, it's worse inside my office!

So I come to work in a pretty skirt and short-sleeved sweater and open-toed shoes and freeze my butt off.

Even my tea is cold now.

I'm going to make some cup-of-soup and tomorrow, I'm bringing my Magic Bag to work. Not just for my cramps, but to keep me warm.

I can only quietly complain on here - if I say anything in the office, they'll crank the heat and then I'll be sweating to death. So I'll just keep quiet and plug in the little heater under my desk and continue my cup-of-soup diet.

If You Only Knew

Yesterday we went to the combined birthday party of Munson, Claudia and my big brother Dean. It was at Dean's house, which I'm grateful for. We barbecued hot dogs and hamburgers, played a bit of Bocce, ate cake and enjoyed a few beverages. Good times.
Not to mention all the gifts. It's great - I don't need to shop for the girls until back-to-school shopping begins.
And the previously mentioned cake? Not bad... it even came with a little necklace.

All I can say now is, thank GOD the month of May is almost over. There were 10 birthdays for friends and family this month and, now that I'm completely broke, we can work towards July and the other 8 or so birthdays we have to look forward to....

On A Roll....

So I wandered around that website and found this one and HAD to do it.
Only I hate white chocolate....

You are White Chocolate

You have a strong feminine side with a good bit of innocence thrown in.Whether your girlish ways are an act or not, men like to take care of you.You are an understated beauty, and your power is often underestimated!

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

Oh well, it's not a bad description!

Nothing More

You Are New York

Cosmopolitan and sophisticated, you enjoy the newest in food, art, and culture.You also appreciate a good amount of grit - and very little shocks you.You're competitive, driven, and very likely to succeed. Famous people from New York: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Tupac Shakur, Woody Allen

What American City Are You?

Munson Turns 3

You know how they always say you spend a fortune buying kids wonderful presents for their birthdays or Christmas and then after, you wonder why you spent so much on them because they end up spending more time playing with the box?
Not Munson.

She prefers the bubble wrap.

She does, however, really like her gifts as well:

Like her new Nemo fish tank. It's the cutest thing! We had bought one for her cousin for Christmas and when we went to their house on Boxing Day, she had it all set up and Olivia fell in love with it. So I bought her one a week later. But being the mean mom that I am, I waited until May to give it to her on her birthday. I refuse to buy my kids stuff during the year (except necessities, of course), but I have a closet full of stuff that I've bought them and wait until their birthdays to give to them. And now I also have a secret drawer.

Back to Munson - when my dad asked her what she got for her birthday, she told him "Cake". The kid LOVES cake. Today is the birthday party at my brother's house and on the way, we'll be picking up the Strawberry Shortcake decorated-birthday cake from Safeway.

Here's her other favourite present (and should I be worried about skankdom?):

Her new bikini and her new flip-flops. We bought them yesterday and as soon as we left the store, she sat outside and took off her running shoes and socks and asked me to cut the tag on her new "slip-flops" so she could wear them right away. At least the bikini she waited until she got home.

I figure I can wait until September to refer to her as my pre-schooler rather than my toddler. ~sigh~

Munson is growing up so fast...

Snip Snip

Guess where Dante (er...Dumbass) is going in 3 days....(Evil laughing in background)

Will update after his little operation is complete. Mwahahahahahaaaaaaa

(sorry guys, I've been swamped lately and must go do some actual work now and read some of my textbook afterward. I promise I will be back with something interesting to tell soon)

Welcome to The Ghetto

Last weekend we had new neighbours move in next door. We hadn't really met them - they were busy moving, we didn't want to bug them (yet!). Until tonight.
Dumbass (my new name du jour for little kitty Dante), decided to explore their roof. And not be able to descend. Hence his new name.
Adam and I tried calling, using our little stepladder to coax Dumbass down. To no avail. So Adam said he'd knock on the door, introduce himself and ask if he could go to their upstairs to try to call Dumbass to the window. Didn't work, Dumbass decided he'd get more scared and crawl further up into a corner of the roof, away from the window.
So, I then asked our nice, friendly new neighbour Sammy if he had a ladder. He said yes. I put on my brave face and said "Ok, I'll go get him". I HATE heights.
I shakily climb up the ladder onto slanted roof (with nice, strong clay tiles....that I can hear moving beneath my feet). Did I mention I'm wearing crappy little slip-on moccasin-type shoes? I grab Dumbass, who is also shaking, queitly crying, and suddenly VERY clingy. And now I have to climb down the ladder with him? Are you kidding? Adam, barefoot and all, climbs halfway up and, a few scratches later, I manage to pry Dumbass's claws out of my back AND my front at the same time and hand him down.
I'm calling the vet tomorrow to book Dumbass in for his "operation" in hopes it will calm him down.
I must now go apply antibiotic ointment to my wounds.
Oh, and I'll order some flowers and have them sent to my nice new neighbours as well.

I Thought This Would be Easier

Carly has assigned me the letter J to work with - I must now list for you 10 words starting with the letter J and what they mean in my life. Here it is:

Jacob - My favorite store for buying work clothes. Classy, lots of black & white, classic...my best clothes come from there.

jell-o - I used to L-O-V-E the stuff. Now I just love making it with Evan - I have to let him do the stirring. I DO like jello shooters, though.

jasmine - funny, I was talking with my dad about this earlier today. We were reminiscing about sitting outside at my Grandma's house in Ventura, playing cards and the smell of jasmine in the breeze. If I think hard enough I can almost smell it.

Johansson - as in Scarlett - she is so HOT.

Joaquin Phoenix - I think this is why Carly assigned me the letter J. Ever since Inventing the Abbots this mysterious man has piqued my interest. There is this deep, dark, gloomy air about him that I find absolutely irrisistible and incrediby sexy. ~sigh~

January - my birth month. No explanation required.

Jeopordy - I love this show. I'm like Rain Man when it comes to Jeopordy. I hate it when I miss it.

Juneau - my kitty, not Alaska. He's my sweet boy - he's pretty, all big & fluffy, and loving and friendly.

Julie - I met her at my horrible job at HBT. She made it not-so-horrible. Fun, sweet girl - love her to pieces.

Japanese - gardens & food. Love them both.

Not Another One Like It

One day, about a month ago, Adam was going through this box he has that's been sitting on top of the big entertainment unit in our living room. There are actually 4 boxes, but there's this one that has just random things in it. It has some miscellanious souveniers from Mexico, some old pictures, cards, jewellery items and...well....THIS:

I realize that it's kind of hard to see, so here's another angle of it (possibly giving you a better idea of what it is):

Yes, folks. It IS a Cheeto shaped like a penis. Head and all. But it doesn't end there. There is also this:

This one is coral. Same idea. It looks better from the side, but my photography skills were lacking. So are we all seeing the pattern?

And where does he keep these items? In this:

I'm almost done. I have just one more item to show you. Let's just say that whatever Adam did in the past, before he met me, he can keep to himself. I'm not asking questions. It's really none of my business.

Yes, those are digits. He says they're massagers. Whatever. Just so you know the actual size of the above...um...objects, I've given you this:

The only conclusion I'm going to come to on this is that those are obviously man thumbs. ~snicker~

Yay Spring

This past weekend was the first warm one in about a billion days so of course, the kids spent the entire time outside. This is how Olivia appropriately dressed herself:

Yes, she insisted on the jean shorts, the funky plastic sunglasses and boots. Not plain old rubber boots but full-on wool-lined Winter boots. Sexy. I'm sure there are many girls walking around Toyko dressed just like that right now.

And that's a little magnifying glass she has. Don't worry, I haven't taught her how to fry ants with it yet.

Here are the other two:

I can't wait until Summer!

For A Good Cause

My son brought home a pledge form last week for the Jump Rope For Heart at his school. I remember doing the same when I was in Elementary School. Basically, each division has all the kids in it jumping rope for as long as they can (though there is a time limit). It's to raise money for the Heart and Stroke Foundation and the kids have to collect pledges and they can win prizes. Only this particular one has a lot of meaning to my family. My dad had a stroke just over 3 years ago. He was only 55 years old at the time and it came to us as such a shock and a real eye-opener for everyone in my family.

My Grandmother, just 2 years before, suffered a severe stroke as well, which resulted in her having to live in a convolescent home where she eventually passed away. Again, that one came as such a complete shock to my family and was absolutely devastating.
A couple years ago, my now ex, his mother, a 4-year-old Evan and I drove down to California for vacation. While we were down there, my parents were down in Ventura visiting with my Grandmother and dealing with some of her estate stuff, getting ready to sell her house. My parents took me to visit my grandma at the home she was living in and then later that same day we ALL went back for one last visit. When we were in her room, she showed signs of recognizing all of us, including my mother-in-law whom she had only met a couple of times before. Then my dad said it was time for all of us to leave so she could rest. I was the last to leave the room, it was so hard. She couldn't really talk, she just sort of mumbled, but I finally said bye and gave her a kiss and hug. And I walked out of that room without turning back. It was so hard, but had I turned around it would've just been so much harder to leave. As I went out into the hall, I turned from the doorway and just leaned against the wall and started to sob - I could hear her nail clicking on the tray that was over her bed (I think she had just eaten her dinner) and I knew she was trying to get my attention so I would come back and not leave. It was so horrible - I think I've only ever told Adam that story because I can't even think about it without crying. That was the last time I ever saw her.
I'm not asking anyone for pledges, but if you feel that this is something you would like to make a donation to, give me a call or send me an email. The form has to be in by Tuesday, April 25th but even if I can't get the money from you by then, I can put it in myself and fill it out for you and I'll collect it from you later.

My Collage

I have nothing worthwhile to post tonight, so I'm just going to post a bunch of pictures.
I had THE most boring day today. I spent the entire day at a Negotiation Seminar at the Justice Institute. It's a weird requirement for my job - I need to get something like 20 credits for the next two years in order for me to become a Level II Adjuster. So I need to take these extra credit seminars and luncheons and stuff. The one I went to today is worth 6 credits, so that's a nice chunk, but it took me out for a whole day, sitting in some stuffy classroom in a concrete building that has wayyyy too many uniformed people walking around. (This is where police go for training as well as paramedics and security guards and who knows what else). AND it made me miss another seminar that would've been an easy credit because it was at some lawyer's office downtown, only an hour and a half long and your lunch is included and you basically just half-listen while you're eating. Ah well, I'll catch the next one.
Let me get you another picture.

Olivia just looooves her baby cousin, Landon. He is irrisistable. He's so cute and so happy and he never makes a peep - even when he's being strangled by that crazy blonde cousin of his.

Speaking of the crazy blonde chick - she has a crush on a boy on Evan's baseball team. She's borderline obsessed. It's sad. But cute, in a crazy, obsessed kind of way. I just realized something - she doesn't even know that her dad is this kid's Godfather. Is that kind of insestuous?

This picture is kind of old, but I always liked it so I wanted to post it. I just love the fact that I'm holding a beer and sitting on my 2-year-old son. As Adam always says: "You can take the girl out of the trailer, but you can't take the trailer out of the girl".
Well said Adam, well said.
I'm done for the night. My throat hurts, thank GOD tomorrow if Friday, and I want to get a little action before my man falls asleep on the couch. Seriously.
Actually, the idea for another post came to mind but it's a serious matter so I have to draft up a whole new one.
Besides, I know no one's reading anyways...

Hard To Come By

I got myself a good bitch. Here is an excerpt from a conversation that took place yesterday evening, as we're dishing up dinner in the kitchen:

A: I am awesome. You are SO taken care of. I am the best boyfriend any girl could ever ask for.

K: And what am I?

A: You'd make an okay boyfriend.

A: And, I realize now that I can let myself go. DOUBLE UP!

His ass had better not get any bigger...

And the night before, as we're making our bed with fresh, clean sheets...

(A has made some sort of snide remark so I run around the bed to smack him)

A: You're like a 1950's husband!

K: What?!

A: Well, you come home from working all day, your dinner is on the table, the kids are playing nicely, the laundry has been done and you STILL have to beat me!

K: (Laughing) And I expect you to perform later, don't forget. Go make me a drink.

Random Thoughts

I keep meaning to post but it's being outweighed by the fact that I have 2 Insurance text books to read (so exciting) and we've been so busy with the kids lately I either (a) get no time to sneak off to the computer or (b) I've been so tired by the time we scoot them off to bed all I can do is lay on the couch and watch the tube. So here is some random crap to keep you enthused for the time being:
- We watched A History of Violence last weekend. Interesting. It was good, not as great as I initially thought it would be. And I've never seen a 69(er?) acted out in a movie before! Just for that fact I probably won't be lending this movie to my mom & dad. Unless they ask. Then I'll just have to warn them.
- I finally found the USB cord for my camera and am able to upload pictures again!
- Adam and I took a little weekend excursion to Seattle two weeks ago (or 3 now?).

We had a great time, but man, what a confusing city! It's ok when you're on foot, but it is a city of one-way streets so when you have a place you want to get to, and you're driving around, it is so difficult to find a street that goes the right way. And to top it off, we grabbed one of those tourist maps that shows you the downtown hotels and shopping districts etc. but the streets on the map are not accurate so Adam and I had a few Amazing Race moments there where it appeared I didn't know how to read a map but really, the map was wrong. There were some tense moments, but we made it through with only one semi-big fight and next time, we're buying a real street map. Anyways, it was a good weekend, we ate so much seafood and shopped 'til we dropped.

- Speaking of Amazing Race - as you may have noticed, I didn't give an update on last week's episode. That's because they changed it to Wednesday nights from Tuesdays and guess what night of the week I'm at school? Frickin' bastards changing the day on me. I almost thought about switching to the other night that the course is offered, but it's further away and I'd never make it in time.
- Does this look like a nipple to you? (Bottom left corner)
Apparently, it's an ear, but I thought it looked a little dirtier than that. I suppose Adam is smarter than to give a cat a bath without a shirt on...he was actually hoping there'd be more of a struggle but it wasn't too bad. Dante gave me a good slice last time I bathed him. (Although I'm sure you can see that little death-grip Adam has on the scruff of his neck - I guess that helps too). Juneau, on the other hand, actually likes his bath. He'll just wander around the tub, checking things out. And he absolutely loves being wrapped up in a towel and cuddled after. It takes all the joy out of trying to torture your cat with bathtime. Oh yeah, and speaking of nipples, here's a picture of what Dante used to do to Juneau (I say used to - they don't do it anymore. At least not that I've noticed). Yes, that's Dante (male) suckling on Juneau's (also male) teat. Looks rude. My blog is getting dirty tonight!

Those are my ramblings for today. I'm going to wrap it up because my brain has pretty much turned to mush at this point and Supernanny is on. I must go see how much worse other's kids are than mine - I get great joy out of it.

(BTW - I'm so very proud of my Space Needle picture - I think it's quite cool and when I figure out my photoshop crap I'm going to make it black & white and probably print it for the office)

And one last goofy picture of Munson...wearing her hat to cover up her Munson-hair.

And For My Next Trick

I'll admit it - the state of this blog is currently bor-ing, I know. And I'm not at my busiest either, so I really have no reasonable excuse to give you. Yes, I work Monday-Friday, yes I have kids that keep me busy, but I'm off work at 4:30 every day and my kids are in bed by 8:00 every night. And I don't go to bed until 11 on most nights. So that's 3 hours of what? Currently, it's drinking wine (or Ceasars) and laying on the couch watching brainless reality TV. I am supposed to be reading for my home study course, which I do, but not as much as I should. And starting in 3 days I am taking another course so I really should be doing a lot more studying now. I'm a procrastinator, and it gets me nowhere. So, starting now, I'm going to try my best at getting my work done when I should get it done and stop leaving things to the last minute. It can be my Spring resolution (since I don't have a habit of making New Year's Resolutions). Someone needs to keep tabs on me though - any volunteers? You'll need to email me or call me on an almost daily basis and kick my ass. Adam's not the man for the job - he was supposed to do that 2 weeks ago to get me to exercise and he hasn't done it at all.
If you care, you'll help me...and then, with a little more edumacation, I might actually have something worth-while to post.

And Further To...

Aforementioned skirt - I ate an orange at my desk later in the afternoon and dripped orange juice on same and now there is a nice mark on skirt. So much for saving it until the weather got better - first time I wear it I have to ruin it! Of course, it has to be 100% silk....photo to follow.

And I get home from work yesterday and tell Adam the story and all he says is "When did you buy a new skirt?".

This Has Got to Stop

For the second time in a matter of 3 months I've worn something new to work and in the bathoom decided to scratch that itchy spot that's been annoying me all day and lo and behold - there's the price tag!
Now, here's my excuse: both times they were items that I had purchased months prior and just never worn and both times I got dressed in the dark bedroom so as not to disturb sleeping beauty who doesn't need to get up as early as me. And both times the tag was hidden beneath either a sweater or, as it just so happened today, UNDER the item of clothing, against the skin. (A skirt that I apparently purchased for less than half-price - yay for me!)
I guess I've now learned that I need to check these things prior to leaving the house. And, as none of my readers are co-workers, I have most likely escaped any teasing. At least at the workplace.

Lavalife Baggage

As some of you know, I met Adam on lavalife.com. I know a lot of people that would never do a thing like that, but it was something that started out as a trial, turned into some fun and I just happened to meet a really wonderful person on there out of pure luck.
We met in January of 2005 and it was great from the beginning. He lived in Vancouver, and I lived about 45 minutes away in Coquitlam. By May, we had decided enough was enough - dragging our children back and forth constantly just to spend some time together was getting pretty hectic, and at each of our places we had just enough space for ourselves and not enough for the "extended" family portion. So, we moved in together June 2005.
Back to the lavalife story - when we met and decided that our relationship was going to be a real relationship, we both went onto the website and removed our profiles, that was the end. If either of us had stayed on that website, it would've just shown that we weren't ready for a relationship and were obviously still looking. So that was the end of it all. Lavalife was history to both of us.
Fast-forward to 3 days ago when I get an email from someone I don't recognize. I'm aiming to delete it, thinking it's junk, and see the subject line: Are you seeing my boyfriend?
As Carly would say: WTF?
Curiousity gets the best of me and I open the email to read: "Just wondering. Found your email address and a phone number I don't recognize.".
I could've ignored it, dropped it, left it alone. But no, I don't. I reply "No, I'm not - I've been with the same guy for over a year and we've been living together since last summer". But now, what I really want to know is: How did MY email address turn up NOW? I haven't had anyone contact me in ages. WTF??
Anyways, had to share it. I thought it was interesting. Poor girl...